What Part of Forever
by MiDoRi-KoKoRo
Summary: Sequel to Love Crash Heal. As the days close in Bella and Edward's wedding day and Bella's big change, events occur that changes the course to the couples "forever". Will forever ever come for these two lovers or are they fated to fail? Previously posted under pen-name Midori- Kokoro
1. A Certain Romance

**A Certain Romance**

BpoV

The scent of blood hung heavy in the air, choking me, as I ran blindly through the pitch black woods. I could hear her laughter as she flew through the trees in front of me…taunting me with her every step. My chest burned and my vision was blurry but I couldn't stop. She'd gone after everyone I loved; my family, my friends, and finally my husband. Somehow I had to stop her even if it meant sacrificing my own life.

I followed her into the clearing and it wasn't until I saw the three figures she was kneeling in front of that I recognized the place. Of course. It had been in this very same place only a year before that my fate had been sealed.

Aro stood, flanked on both sides by Marcus and Caius, but my eyes were on the girl with the dark wavy hair kneeling at his feet. I would destroy her if it was the last thing I did.

"Ah…Bella. I'm glad to see you have returned safely," Aro said with a hint of mockery in his voice. I could feel his red eyes burning into me as he ran his fingers through the girl's hair making her purr. She knelt forward and kissed his feet as id he were some sort of God. It was sickening and maddening all at the same time.

"I see you've bought me a gift my pet." His voice sounded every bit as menacing as I'd remembered. The monster reached between her knees and pulled something black and circular from the floor and placed it gently in his hand. He smirked spinning it to face me so I could see what it was but I didn't need him to. I would recognize Edwards cuff anywhere.

I shrieked, launching myself at her with hatred burning in my veins. She spun to face me, blood dripping from the corners of her mouth and I froze mid-air. I'd hadn't seen her face until now. The monster who had wreaked havoc on my life was me….

I leapt up from the bed screaming and clawing at the sheets. Sweat beaded on my skin leaving my clothes damp and sticking to me. Pulling at my shirt, I glanced at the clock and in seeing that was already 8 am, fell back against the pillows with a sigh. Edward would have been gone an hour already.

"Bells?" Charlie called from the other side of the door before pushing it open. It had been two weeks since I'd moved back home, two weeks too long. I missed mine and Edward's bed. I missed him not having to sneak away because Charlie was awake. I missed him keeping the nightmares away.

"Yea Dad?" I answered groggily trying to hide the shakiness of my voice.

"You were screaming again? You alright?"

"Yea dad, I'm fine. It was just that movie we watched last night…I guess it kind of messed with me."

Charlie shook his head laughing. "I hate to break it to you Bells, but "Signs" is not a scary movie. Don't worry; I'll remind Edward to keep a glass of water on your nightstand just in case the aliens attack. " He closed the door but I could still hear him laughing as he walked down the hall. Better to let him think I was afraid of some dumb alien movie than to tell him that I was really afraid of becoming a monster myself.

Six nights in a row I'd had that dream and as I stepped into the shower, I wondered if I should talk to Edward about it already. It would only be a matter of time before something slipped through the cracks and he'd find out that although I was committed to my decision, the closer the time came the more freaked out I was. We hadn't really talked about any of it. There really wasn't much time with the way Alice was buzzing around us making wedding plans.

I scrubbed at my arms and legs trying to wash away the "damned spots" that I knew weren't there but was seeing anyway. So much had happened in two weeks and I hadn't realized how much of a toll it was taking on me. Jacob knew about my engagement and refused to talk to me, Renee was beyond pissed at me and refused to show up for the wedding, and after spending more time with Charlie and my "human" friends, I found that saying goodbye was going to be harder than I thought.

As I was pondering all this the shower curtain pulled back and I slipped falling backwards, startled into Edward's arms.

"Edward! What the hell?" I screeched, looking up at him. He was frowning for the first time since the night of our official engagement.

"I should be asking you the same thing Bella. What in the hell are you in here doing? I could hear you crying all the way from outside." He pushed me up, righting me on my feet and turned off the water before handing me a towel. I hadn't realized I'd been crying too.

"Well Edward…you do have an extraordinary sense of hearing." I smiled leaning forward to kiss him. He smiled back wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me from the tub. As soon as my body pressed against his I forgot what I was upset about. I melted into his arms…into his kiss and all was right in my world again.

"Nice try Swan but you're not distracting me from this one," he murmured into my lips when I came up for air. "Tell me why you were crying."

I looked at him from under my lashes trying to gauge whether I should just blurt it out or ease into it. I could see the worry lines etched into his perfect face and felt guilt eating at me. We were getting married in a few weeks...keeping any kind of secret from him was wrong.

"I'll tell you," I finally sighed out. "But not right this second. Let me think of how first." I fisted his shirt, leaning up on my toes to kiss him again but he pulled back.

"See now I'm really worried. What could have possibly happened in the two hours I was gone?"

"Nothing Edward, I promise we'll talk about it later."

I spun out of his arms and left the bathroom. He followed me to my room and I could see in his face that he wanted to keep talking but I didn't give him the opportunity to ask me. I talked about any and everything I could think of to avoid the topic. It seemed he let it go as we drove into town and talked about what Alice had done with the wedding over night. I wouldn't have thought it possible but in only two weeks, she'd gotten mostly everything done.

"Convenience of the internet she says, but I know better. I've checked her phone. She's been making phone calls at 3 in the morning to places I never even heard of and that's saying something. She's ordered your dress already but her minds been like a vault so good luck with that one."

"Wonderful. I can just see it now. Lots of lace, lots of frills-"

"Hopefully lots of cleavage," Edward interjected with a smirk.

"I highly doubt you want all our wedding guests getting a look at the goods," I said laughing, reaching for the door handle. Edward reached across me pulling the door shut. For a moment I forgot to breathe as I stared into his smoldering eyes.

"You're right," he said pecking me on the lips shocking me back to life with their iciness. "I'm going to get a label for them that says –For Edward Cullen's eyes only-." He came around to my side, helping from the car and leading in me into the mall, stumbling on my feet. It'd been a while since he dazzled me like that but I loved it. It was like the first time, every time.

We had a seemingly normal day, seemingly because we actually got into the mood of newly engaged people getting ready for their wedding. I couldn't ignore the new light that was shining in Edward's eyes as we looked for things to put in our "new home". Memories of my dreams were scratching at the corners of my mind but every time I looked into his amber eyes I was reminded I didn't have to be that monster, and every time he kissed me I was reminded that he loved me and wouldn't let me.

Back at the house, I was surprised to find all the lights out.

"Where is everyone?" I was only partially curious, staring at Edward's ass while he was bent over in the trunk getting our bags.

"I sent them all away," he said turning to face me. A sly grin spread across his face as he slipped ten of my bags onto his index finger then turned towards the stairs. I picked up what was left and followed him into the kitchen. It was nearly pitch black in the house and before my eyes could focus Edward had me in his arms pressed against the wall.

"Alice has us booked solid for the rest of the week so I wanted to have you all to myself for a few hours before she could find more stuff for us to do. No annoying little pixie, no teasing brothers, no smiling parents. Just me…you…and the bed."

His cold breath washed over my skin making me quiver. I wrapped my legs around his waist and tilted my head to the side letting his lips travel from my cheek to my neck. He inhaled deeply, pressing me harder into the wall.

"I still haven't decided whether or not I'm going to miss your scent. I absolutely love it but it still burns like hell."

"So sorry to make you uncomfortable," I grumbled pulling away. He shook me gently, forcing me to face him.

"Good thing I'm such a glutton for punishment. I wouldn't care if you had flames sprouting from your skin, nothing would ever make keep my hands off you."

Edwards's lips pressed against mine so quickly and so hard I didn't have to formulate a response in my head. Instead I grinded my lower half into him and clutched his hair, trying to kiss him back with all my might. I closed my eyes as we blurred up the stairs, half dizzy from his speed and half from his kiss. He pushed me back on the bed, drinking me in with his eyes and then grabbed my hands pulling me them to the hem of his shirt.

Standing on my knees I pulled it up and over his head, then let my hands and eyes follow down his body. I felt him tense and relax under my palms while I ran my hands over his chest and down to his belt buckle. I pulled it open slowly, staring into his eyes, trying to show him how much I wanted him. My mouth was nearly watering.

Slowly he ran his hands up my arm and then cupped my face gently in his hands.

"This I'm definitely going to miss," he said running his thumb over my cheek. I could feel the blood rising to the surface skin. "And your eyes. I'm definitely going to miss the color of your eyes." He kissed me gently exhaling so deeply that I couldn't see straight. I felt him lay me back, felt what little of his weight he allowed me to feel pressed against my body, felt his icy lips pressed against mine but that was it until he pulled away. Once my head cleared I realized he'd gotten me out of most of my clothes without me knowing.

"What happened to my clothes Edward?"

"They're on the floor…where they belong," he said smirking

"Well you're laying on the dazzle effect pretty heavy. Would you mind easing up a bit? I…you know…want to be an active participant here." I pulled myself up against the headboard still feeling groggy. Edward pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and then flopped on the bed beside me resting his head in my lap.

"Sorry, but you know I'm not going to be able to do that for much longer. Call me overindulgent if you must, but I'm savoring every last moment of your human life."

There was a strange tone in his voice. One that I couldn't quite place. One that I didn't necessarily like.

"You don't sound so excited to have me like you anymore. Please don't tell me you're changing you mind?"

I didn't think I could take Edward going back on his word in that moment but didn't have time to dwell on it. Edward flipped over and pulled me underneath me so quickly that it knocked the air out of me. He stared down intently into my eyes, so intently that I knew whatever his next words they were going to be sincere.

"Make no mistake Bella. I want you like me. In fact…I need you to be like me. If you think I'm having a moment of indecision then you're wrong. I wouldn't make it one day knowing you weren't on this earth anymore and none of the family nor you are too keen on letting me follow. You will…in a few weeks…be like me."

My gulping must have given it away. It wasn't that what he said scared me; it was more that I didn't like to hear the time said out loud. I still wasn't happy about the fact that, when it came down to it, my hand was being forced in this. I still didn't like that someone else had given us a time limit.

"That's what's wrong isn't it?" Edward slipped his hands behind my head, cradling it but holding me so I couldn't turn away. "You don't want to do this anymore."

"No, that's not it," I said telling the truth. "That's not it at all. It's just that well…Um…." I couldn't find the right words to explain how I felt. Staring into Edward's eyes all I could think was how I needed to choose my words carefully because the look of guilt on his face was enough to make me cry.

"Tell me Bella. You know you can tell me anything. Please. I know something's been on your mind for the last few days. It's been driving me nut that I still can't hear you. Please just tell me."

His pleading kicked my brain into gear and I just spit it out.

"Every time you leave me I have nightmares about being a ravenous vampire…killing all my friends and family…Killing you…and being one of Aro's little pets!"

Edward didn't blink. He didn't move. He just stared into my eyes for what seemed like forever then cracked a smile.

"What…I'm not family to you?" he burst into a fit of laughter until I whacked him on the shoulder.

"This isn't funny," I chided and pushed him off me. Edward moved back to my side pulling me into his lap with my back to him and wrapping his arms around my waist. He leaned forward brushing his cheek against mine, comforting me enough that I absentmindedly reached up and curled my fingers in his hair.

"Bella love…its okay. If you weren't nervous about this I'd have to question your sanity. If it would make you feel more comfortable we can talk about it…I think we should…In fact I want to. And as for you being Aro's little pet…it wasn't like a sexual pet was it? Because I'd be pretty jealous."

I shivered with pure disgust and slunk down deeper in Edwards lap so that my head was lying on his thighs and I could look up at him. His fingertips danced over my bare skin then his hands came back up cupping my breasts and kneading them. I closed my eyes moaning and rolled off his lap so he could lie on top of me again.

"Promise me you won't let me be too crazy," I whispered.

"I'll do my best," he whispered back before gently pressing his lips to mine. The kiss grew hungry and passionate. Before long we were both gasping for air groping wildly at each other. I shimmied out of what little clothes I had left on while Edward lavished my neck and chest with his lips and tongue. What started out as a gentle love making session quickly turned into something a little dirtier.

Edward pinned my hands to the bed, working his way down my torso, achingly slow. I squirmed beneath him, twisting in his grasp and trying to direct the path of his kiss. He seemed to know where I wanted his mouth and grabbed my thighs pulling them apart. I gasped clutching the sheets when his head sunk between my legs. My breath came out in pants as he worked me with his tongue and then I couldn't breathe when he added his fingers.

I felt the heat spreading across my body, felt that I was getting ready to explode when he stopped and flipped me over so I was straddling him. I kissed him hard on the mouth, willing myself to relax…to last, but his cool hands on my back had me whimpering to finish. I felt like a teenage boy, unable to control myself, and tried to distract myself by starting my own slow descent to his waist.

He stopped me, pulling me gently by the arm so I was hovering him. I watched him close his eyes. Watched him swallow back what I could only assume was his venom; before he slowly opened his eyes to look at me.

"I want to watch you," he whispered, confusing me.

"Watch me what?" I was still vibrating with need and finding it hard to steady myself.

"I want to watch you…take me in your hand and…"

Edward seemed to not be able to articulate to me what he wanted but somehow I already knew. I looked down where his straining erection was standing full and delicious between us, then back into his eyes. Slowly I reached down and grabbed him, letting my hand slide over the length of him and placed him at my entrance. I braced myself for the pressure and pushed onto him. The sensation made me gasp as our bodies made contact. Edward pulled his hands up to my waist motioning for me to move.

I let him guide my body gently at first and then took over so I could pick up the pace. He closed his eyes, fisting the sheets as I rode him. I let my head fall back, rested my palms on his chest, and rode out the waves until the knots starting coiling in my stomach. A flush of heat washed over me from the scalp down, setting me on fire. Only Edward's cold hands on my back kept me from bursting into flames.

"I'm so… I'm so close," I panted out to him trying to keep my frame of mind. My impending orgasm had my head swirling but I was trying to hold out. There was no better feeling that having him finish with me.

"Let go Love," Edward whispered back, leaning up and wrapping his arms around my back. He pulled my body flush with his, thrusting upwards, and after a few seconds I fell apart…piece by piece…convulsing in his arms. He followed suit, warming me from the inside out, and then collapsed against the bed bringing me down with him.

My eyes became slits against the setting sun. My chest was heaving as I lay on top of him still unable to speak. I knew what was coming. I wasn't going to make it another min…

When I woke up Edward wasn't in bed with me anymore. I didn't panic, he'd left the bedroom door open and the light from downstairs had filtered into the hall. I got up, threw my clothes back on and headed for the stairs but before I got there, Edward poked his head out of Carlisle and Esme's room.

"Could you come in here for a minute Love?"

He held his hands out for me, wrapping one arm around my waist when I got to him and led me into the room.

Carlisle and Esme were seated on the couch that faced the window snuggled close together. Across from them on the floor was a plush carpet covered in pillows. Edward sat there and pulled me down against his side.

"Bella honey," Esme started with a warm smile on her face, "Edward was just telling us you've been having some trouble sleeping. We thought now would be a good time to discuss things with you…if you don't mind of course."

The blood rushed to my face and I stared into my lap. I hadn't felt this embarrassed around them since the first time Edward and I had sex and Carlisle was checking for "internal damages".

"Um…yea. Trouble sleeping. Right," I stammered out. Edward squeezed my hand for comfort but it wasn't working. All I could see was the blood red eyes and the blood covered clothing from my dreams.

"Why don't you tell us what's bothering you and we can try to work that out first okay?" Carlisle suggested coming over to sit near me. Esme followed suit and the four of us huddled on the carpet while I recounted my recurring nightmares and "expressed my feelings". I'd had plenty of conversations with my "in-laws to be" but never had to bear my soul as much. I didn't hate it. It felt natural: as though I were really part of the family because no one had secrets in the house and now neither did I.

"What you're feeling is normal Bella. I suppose. None of us had a conscious decision of this so it's only natural that in seeing all you've seen it would play on your psyche. But I promise you we'll make this as easy as possible for you." Carlisle hugged me around the shoulders and as I rested my head on his shoulder I looked at Edward and it hit me.

Looking into his eyes in that moment I knew the only for this to be done and for us to be okay would be for him to do it himself. For Edward to make me his, leave his mark on me…a mark of his own and not a re-opened one like the one on my wrist, that's had to be the way.

"By the way, you were talking in your sleep again. About Jacob." Edward said grimacing and pulled me back to his side. "We don't have to tell him anything. I'm sure once we're gone and you don't come back he'll figure it out on his own."

"I know we don't have to tell him Edward," I mumbled more to the floor than to him. "I just feel like I should. Why make him wonder…make him worry. He's my friend. He deserves to know." Just thinking about our last conversation brought the sting of tears to my eyes.

"The fact of that matter is that part of our treaty still stands and especially because it's you. I don't want to have to fight him and I don't want another attack on our family which is what it will come down to if you tell him. I just want this to be as easy for you as possible and if it means being ghosts in the night…then so be it. As far as he's concerned this is the only way."

"Can we stick to one horror movie at time please…I'm thinking I'm going to have a hard enough time being a vampire and not eating people to be a ghost too!"

Esme reached to squeeze my hand but I pulled away. I understood their logic, on some level agreed with it, but that didn't mean it wasn't hard to swallow. In the end I agreed. I knew they were right.

We discussed that because I had to be in Volterra at the end of summer, Edward and I would get married here so Charlie could walk me down the aisle, and then we head off to Carlisle's villa in **Montepulciano. There Edward and I would have a few days to enjoy our honeymoon before the family followed for my change. After reporting to Aro as promised we'd travel back to the states to the house in Alaska. **

Edward was mostly silent on the way home which was fine. I had a thought swimming around in my head that I need to focus on. While sitting with Esme and Carlisle, I couldn't stop looking at Carlisle mouth. His teeth that would become my undoing. His mark on me forever. It felt…wrong. I looked at Edward mouth, his lips that I loved more than any other of his body part, I could kiss him for hours. I'd planned to, once I was changed and didn't need to breathe, I planned on spending the better part of my days attached to his face preferably undressed.

"I want you to be the one to change me," I blurted our just as he was opening my front door. Charlie was setting the table and looked up at us smiling when I crossed the threshold. Alone. Edward was still standing on the porch frozen in his tracks.

"Well come on in guys. I don't want this….whatever this is that I made to get cold."

"Yes. Come inside Edward," I said with a smile and my best "I know you're going to rip me a new one later but remember my dad is standing here and I love you" face.

I could feel him glowering at me all through dinner and over talked to compensate for the fact that Edward was behaving abnormally statuesque. Once Charlie cleared the room and was out of earshot I knew I was in for it.

"I know what you're going to say but if you would just hear me out, I promise you my reasoning makes a lot of sense," I started before he could say anything. Edward stood next to me hold a dish towel and nodded as he dried the plates.

"You said you wanted this to be as easy for me as possible right? Well while were talking I started thinking about what was going to be done. Carlisle putting his mouth on me, his teeth penetrating my skin, his venom poisoning my system."

"You're sexualizing it Bella. That's a little….gross." Edward shook his head slowly, turning to put a plate in the cabinet above his head.

"Well, that's exactly my point. There is a slight sexual connotation there, I mean your venom is technically a body fluid right?

"I guess you could say that," he answered skeptically.

"Well would you want any of his other fluids in me? His saliva…his…"

"What are you getting Bella?"

"Isn't it sort of the same thing as having Carlisle's" and then I nodded at his lap because I couldn't bring myself to say the words let alone look at him and say it. Edward didn't seem to follow until he realized what I was looking and cringed.

"God Bella…that's disgusting! If that's the case then I've had…" His whole body shook and for a moment he couldn't meet my eyes. Then he shook and his and waved his hands in front of him in a firm no.

"Bella, I see your point…to a degree. I wish you never put that thought in my head but that's beside the point. The point is that I don't know what's going to happen if I taste your blood again. I wasn't going to say anything see as though we're so close to not having to deal with it anymore, but your blood is in my system. A lot of it. I can taste it on my tongue when I'm around you. It's gone to a slow burn to me feeling like I'm constantly eating fire."

Unconsciously I took a few steps back from him. Not because I was afraid but because like him, I had and aversion to causing him any pain. If just being around him was hurting him this much then I didn't want to wait much longer.

"Well...Edward. Bite. Don't suck," I rationalized. Edward shook his head and turned towards the hallway. Charlie's eyes were glued to the TV so in the blink of an eye, Edward flew past him, and up the stairs. I kissed Charlie goodnight and followed up the stairs. I didn't want this conversation to be over but I didn't know how to win.

When I got upstairs, Edward was stretched across my bed in black boxer briefs. After all this time I was still stunned by his beauty and made quick work of showering so I could crawl into bed with him.

I returned to the room to find him thumbing through the pages of my worn copy of Romeo and Juliet. I slid up next to him, letting my body slide against him until I was flush with his chest and in his arms. I pressed my lips to his bare chest, inhaling his scent.

"Juliet could not live without her Romeo. She kissed his lips in hopes that some poison still lingered there, enough to take her life away with his. That's what I want Edward. Your lips," and I pulled myself up taking his face gently in my hands to make him stare into my eyes. "I want your lips, to be the last thing I feel soft against my skin. I want your perfect teeth leaving your perfect mark on me so the world will know I'm yours. I want your venom, to be the one that poisons my system and makes me like you."

Edward closed his eyes while I let my lips fall on his. I stayed still, listening to him breathe in and out. He wrapped his arms around me, the book falling with a soft thud to the floor. His front teeth grazed across my bottom lip and I let out a small moan. He stiffened then relaxed slowly, releasing me from his grasp.

"Okay," he breathed out with his eyes still closed. "Okay. I'll do it. I'll be the one. Besides, I like the idea of being the only man to have ever been inside you."


	2. A Matter of Perspective

A Matter of Perspective

EPoV

Watching Bella sleep had become one of my favorite past-times since the first night I had snuck into her room. I envied the way she could close her eyes and leave this world for a few hours, sleeping more peacefully if I was by her side. We lay with my head cradled against her chest as I counted every one of her precious heart beats.

She didn't realize what she was asking of me. It was one thing for me to allow her change to happen, another entirely for me to be the one to do it. To take her life would be the gravest sin I could ever commit- surely smiting an angel cements one's place in the darkest pits of hell. I'd agreed as was my desire to please her, my desire to make up for all the pain I had caused us…but this was one promise I did not know if I could make good on.

"Edward? Is something wrong?"

The sound of her sleepy voice pulled me from my thoughts. Our eyes locked when I gazed up at her and I smiled, reassuringly enough or so I thought.

"No, why do you ask Bella?" I asked, allowing my voice to sound like silk in hopes of distracting her.

"Well, this is the first time in about three weeks that I haven't woken up to you kissing me awake. Where did you go in that head of yours?"

Bella sat up and ran her fingers through the tangles in her hair. Her shirt pulled tightly around her body and I fought the urge to tear it off of her. There would only be so many more times that I would see the red flush of her excitement on her skin. She cocked her eyebrow up, waiting for my answer, and as she had stuttered to hide the truth of her feelings to me the day before, so did I.

"I was thinking about eating cake…at the wedding. The last time I ate cake it was horrible. But, you know, I don't want to deny you any experience and that whole exchanging bites of cake bit… It's tradition."

Bella narrowed her eyes at me as she slid off the bed. I could tell she didn't believe me but in truth I wasn't lying. Somewhere in my ever running brain I had been thinking about that… It just wasn't forefront in my mind.

"Edward. It's just cake. If you're really that concerned we can do without it. I don't even really like cake anyway. We can always have a nice wedding deer… mountain lion?"

"Very funny," I chuckled, handing her the towel that hung off the side of her mirror. "Hurry and get dressed. Charlie left you breakfast on the table. I'd hate for you not to eat it."

Bella clumsily sashayed out of the room. Yet another of her human qualities I found I would miss. But then the thought of her face, sparkling in the sun next to mine, flashed in my mind and for a second there was a strange longing building within me. I felt at war with myself as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. I wanted-no needed her to be like me but at the same time, felt overwhelming guilt as my eyes took in the sight of her kitchen table. Charlie's last efforts to care for the daughter he would lose in ways far worse than he could have ever imagined.

"You know," Bella said as her feet padded down the stairs- again a sound I would miss…the heavy thud of her approaching steps- "Every time I look at my left hand I feel like I have to pinch myself."

Just as she came to the bottom of the stairs a stream of sunlight came through the windows sending a cascade of shadows on the wall from her ring. She smiled down at her hand, turning left to right, making the pattern dance on the wall. She turned to look over her shoulder at me smiling and there it was…the moment from one of Alice's vision that I had been waiting forever for… a moment that I had drawn and hung on the wall of my bedroom so as not to forget what I knew I had been waiting my whole existence for.

"If someone had of told me that I'd be getting married one day and at this age I would have called them crazy…but now I can't imagine my life any other way. I can't imagine my life without you."

I closed the space between us in one step and swept Bella up into my arms. Her arms encircled my neck and our lips locked together. We stood in her kitchen doorway, locked in a kiss until the scent of wet dog saturated the air around us. I growled, causing Bella to freeze in my arms and pull away slowly.

"What is it Edward?"

Her breath came out in a whisper and I silently berated myself for needlessly scaring her.

"Nothing Love, I'm sorry. It's just your stinking mutt on the porch."

"Go away Jacob!" I growled at the door dropping Bella to her feet.

"Jacob!" Bella squealed, launching herself for the door. I could see the flush of excitement to her face. Her cheeks burned red and a smile widened on her face from ear to ear. Instead of the flush of venom and the slow burn in my throat that I had expected all I felt was jealousy and hatred boiling within me.

"Don't look so excited..." I mumbled under my breath, leaning in the doorway.

"Jacob! What are you doing here?" Bella launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck. Our eyes met for a moment; he seemed hesitant to hug her back but I turned away giving them their moment. I knew it would hurt Bella's feeling to have him reject her.

"I came to talk to you Bella. I was hoping to find you alone. I should have known that wasn't going to happen."

He rolled his eyes before glaring at me. Bella stepped back to my side and locked her fingers with mine.

"Jacob, Edward and I have no secrets. Anything you have to say to me you can say in front of him."

"I really don't think that's a good idea."

"Then it's probably not something you should say anyway."

I jumped into his head, my patience growing thin. I read through his mind that he wanted to talk to Bella about the wedding; to try to talk her out of it. He knew from the moment he saw the wedding invitation that Bella was to be changed. There would be no convincing him otherwise.

"Jacob today isn't the best day to have this conversation. Bella and I still have a lot to do before the wedding and we're running short on time," I said before he had the chance to speak again.

"Maybe you should let Bella make that decision for herself, or are your hooks in that deep?"

"Jacob, stop it!" Bella chided. "You ignore me for days and then all of a sudden show up at my door wanting to talk…What's your deal?"

"I wasn't ready to talk to you yet. Now I am. Just not in front of him," he replied in an acidic tone.

"Well that's just too damn bad Jacob. Whatever it is that you want to say, maybe you should save it. Better yet, write it in a letter so she'll have something to read on the plane."

Bella looked up at me, her eyes telling me to let her handle it but at that point I was far too annoyed by his thoughts.

"Jacob, really, now isn't a good time. I mean we are on our way out the door and we do have a lot to do before the wedding. Can't I just call you later?"

"Call me later…see me later. You don't have a later Bella. Your whole world revolves around Edward. There's no reaching you. I'd be wasting my time anyway. Just remember the rules… There is no going back once you cross that line. I won't be able to protect you."

"Jacob," Bella started, reaching for him but he had already turned his back and began to stalk off. "He knows," She whispered to me as we watched him go. "Edward, what are we going to do?"

"I don't know Bella but I'll tell you what we're not going to do. We're not going to worry about it today. Today you are going to the florist with the Alice and Esme to pick out flowers for the wedding and then afterwards Emmett is taking you to pick out a new car."

Bella's jaw dropped at the mention of a new car. "What the hell is wrong with my truck?"

"Bella, no wife of mine is going to be driving around in that beat up old thing," I whispered in her ear. I watched as my breath blew across her chest that was exposed in her v-neck shirt. Goosebumps rose on her skin as she let out a small moan.

"Noth..nothing is wrong with my truck Edward," she whispered, leaning into my arms.

"Don't worry, we'll keep it… But I want to give you the world Bella. Rather, as much of it as I can."

"Then why aren't you taking me yourself?"

"As I said, I want to give you the world. But I would rather have Emmett take you because at least with him you'll be able to get what you really want and not the armored truck I intended for you."

After dropping Bella off at the florist I had some errands to run on my own. I wanted to make sure that our home in Denali was just that, a home. While Alice and Esme insisted on decorating our new place themselves, I demanded that I have final say on what went into the more "personal rooms". It was rare for me to have a day alone. I was so used to always having someone with me, if not Bella then another member of the family. I took it upon myself to take my time, mentally prepare myself for the majors changes that were to come as well come to a final decision about what Bella had asked me to do.

I loved her and trusted my family… my father. I saw no reason I couldn't be the one to change her as long as I had someone there to protect me from myself should I lose control. I spent my last remaining hour running… just running for the pure joy of it…and thinking of the best possible way to make Bella's change.

Coming back to the house, I heard Alice's thoughts before Bella's voice registered in my head.

_Edward, she's insisting. I can't talk her out of it without it sounding like a demand.  
_

I dashed up the stairs to find Alice and Bella, for the first time ever at odds with each other.

"Alice you don't understand. This is my life we're talking about here. He is a part of my life just as much as any of you are. Even more so since I've known him longer… I can't just leave. I can't just leave things like this." Bella was pleading close to tears. Quickly I went to her side and wrapped my arms around her, blocking her view from the rest of the family.

"Bella's what's the matter? Talk to me."

She hid her eyes from me, keeping her arms at her side. I lifted her chin to see her brown eyes shining with tears.

"Edward, you won't understand either. None of you understand."

"Bella, it's not that we don't understand honey," Esme started from the corner of the room. "It's just that we know that it's not a good idea. No one doubts your bond with Jacob, but what you're failing to see how bound he is to _what_ he is. How he feels about you trumps all of that. If you go to him, and tell him our plans, he's bound by nature to protect you. There won't be any stopping him from coming after Edward…after all of us."

"So what am I supposed to do? Just leave with him hating me? If he already knows then why isn't he here? Why hasn't he come after us yet? If you'd just let me go down there, please…just let me go down there… maybe I can make him understand that this isn't just about Edward…that I really don't have a choice."

The room was silent for a heartbeat. In that moment everyone's thoughts considered her words and knew that in a way she was right but also that Jacob's thoughts, although true, were purely speculation at this point. For Bella to go down and admit it would be asking for a fight. No one wanted to hurt anyone else or be hurt. They simply couldn't let her go but when it came down to it, the choice was mine to make because I would be the one that Jacob came after first.

"Bella, they're right." I said leading her over to the couch. "It's not the best idea for you to go down there, especially since he's so angry. I can't…I can't protect you while you are there… I don't think I could stomach having you so out of reach to me right now."

Bella put her hands to my face forcing me to focus only on her. Her heart beat steady, her breaths slow, as she tried to calm herself enough to reason with me.

"Edward, he's my best friend. I can't just leave without talking to him. I can't just leave without making him understand why I'm doing what I'm doing. Right now he thinks I'm the most selfish thing walking the face of this earth, I need to make him see that there's more to my decision than just getting to spend my life with you."

I turned to my family just in time to see Alice shake her head and slip out of the room. She was disappointed in me but she wasn't feeling what I felt. She could see, but could not feel Bella's pain the way that I could. She could not feel the reason in Bella's words the way I could.

"Then go Love," I whispered. "Go. Just promise to come back to me in one piece."


	3. A Forest

**A Forest**

**A/N  
**For all those who aren't aware, I used to post under the pen-name Midori- Kokoro. This is the sequel to LOVE CRASH HEAL...  
I hope you guys give this story a chance. I have a lot of idea for it but the reception seems kind of low...

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BPOV

It pained me to argue with the family and to leave Edward the way that I did, but I knew he understood my motives. He knew that this, aside from him being the one to change me, would be the only way to make things easier. Charlie would be the only one left in the dark because he's the only one that couldn't know the truth.

"Thanks for coming Bella. For a minute I was beginning to think he'd completely brainwashed you."

Jacob held his front door open for me. The house was warm and the chair where we'd share our first kiss sat empty in front of me. A flood of memories came back, memories of the good parts of the friendship Jacob and I had. I held on to the hope that he would see my reason.

"Sit down Bella. Why do you look so nervous?" His smile widened from ear to ear as he plopped down on the couch and turned on the T.V. Two glasses of soda and a bowl of chips sat on the table in front of me.

"Were you expecting someone Jacob? " I looked around, suddenly feeling like I had intruded in my impromptu visit.

"No, I just know you. I knew you'd come. Thought we'd watch a little T.V. or something first."

He smiled at me sideways, and then turned his attention back to the T.V. I settled into the chair, pulling my feet into it and watched as he flicked through the channels, the same way Charlie did when nothing was on.

"Jacob, maybe we should get right to it," I said after he'd gone through every available channel three times. "Edward told me what you came to talk to me about. I came to tell you why."

"Bella, I don't want to hear your sorry excuses. You're throwing away your life for that blood-sucking leech and not giving a damn about all the other people that love you."

Jacob couldn't even turn to look at me. That above everything else hurt the most. He couldn't even bare the sight of me I had become so low in his eyes.

"But you're wrong Jacob," I said, my words coming out in a whisper I knew he could hear. "The people that I love, all the people that I love are the reasons why I'm doing this. If I didn't I'd have to run, and the ones coming after me…they'd pick off everyone I loved until I came out of hiding. This is the only way to keep everyone safe. You included."

Jacob swung around violently and looked at me. His eyes were as black as Edwards on his thirstiest of days.

"Bella! What the hell are you talking about? Who's coming after you?"

I took a deep breath and began to recount the parts of the story that he didn't know; The story of Tanya and James, why Victoria had come after me in first place, Tanya going back to the Volturi asking for protection, about them coming back for me, and finally the deal that we made.

I had to be changed by the end of summer or they were going to rain down hell fire on everyone around me.

Jacob waited until I finished speaking and the very slowly got up and pulled me from the chair and into his arms.

"Bella, don't make a decision like this with a sword at your throat. I'd lay down my life to keep you safe and as much as I hate to admit it, so would that blood-sucker of yours."

"Jacob, this is the only way to avoid anyone having to do that. Getting to spend the rest of my life with Edward is my consolation prize."

Jacob looked deep into my eyes for a moment. We stared at each other for what seemed like a life time and then he kissed me, very softly. This was not a kiss of passion with hopes of it leading to something else. This was a kiss goodbye.

"Bella, I can see there is no convincing you otherwise on this. You have to leave. Whenever you are going to do it, you cannot do it here. Do you understand me? I won't be able to keep what you've said from everyone and I know they won't be as understanding as me. Go and do not, under any circumstances, ever return here. "

He hugged me to him tightly once more then sent me in the direction of the door. I stopped just before stepping out and looked over my shoulder. He watched me, tears in his eyes, fists balled at his side.

"Jacob, I'm sorry and I love you. Take care of Charlie for me please."

He nodded once and I walked to my truck feeling like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Tears began to fall down my face and gushed when seconds after I started my re-stored heap of metal, Jacob's pained wolf howl came from the woods. I wanted so badly to run to him, but goodbye was good bye and when I really thought about it the only place I wanted to be was in Edward's arms.

Driving from one end of the reservation to out of it should have only taken moments but it seemed the universe was destined to hold me up. In doing a three point turn to leave Jacob's house, my tire rolled over something making a loud popping sound. I felt my truck sink one side, the tire flattened and busted when I got out to look at it. I kicked it hard, groaned in pain and hobbled back up to the cab to get my phone. Jacob would be long gone, Charlie was still at work, and I didn't know nor trust anyone else enough to ask for help. Edward would have to pick me up from the treaty-line.

"Hello Bella."

Sam's voice came from behind me, freezing me just as I was about to press the talk button on my phone. I whipped around, pressing my back up against the truck and looked at him wide-eyed with fear. He didn't seem himself. Edward's venom seemed to have killed his spirit.

"Hello Sam," I stammered, still reaching for the door. "What…what are you doing here?"

"I heard Jacob in the woods. Thought there might be some trouble but considering the way he sounds I should have known that you wouldn't be that far away."

Sam made a step towards me and I shrunk away. Normally I would have at least attempted to stand up to him but something in his eyes was completely unsettling. I promised Edward I'd come back unscathed; I thought it best not to provoke whatever beast was lurking in Sam's shadow.

"Well, Jacob and I are not something you'll have to worry about much longer. He…we…just officially ended our friendship. I'll be leaving for college soon…going across the country and I doubt you'll ever see my face again, so if you don't mind… I'm supposed to meet my dad for dinner." I turned sideways and pulled the door to my truck open so as not to have my back completely to him. He was laughing and shaking his head looking at the ground.

"Cullens going with you?"

"Just Edward, for now. I'm sure he'll join the rest of his family as soon as I get settled."

"So," Sam said narrowing his eyes at me, "I see a lot has changed then. All that fighting for nothing, huh? If you two were just going to split up anyway?"

"I guess," I stammered, sliding back into the cab. Sam eyed my tire for a moment then looked back up at me. My hand gripped the doorway, my knuckles turning white. There was something sinister in his look yet it was soft at the same time. Again, completely unsettling. I silently wished that Jacob would sense him here and come home; if for no other reason than to allow me the chance to get away.

"Bella, your tire is flat. It doesn't look like you're going to meet Charlie for dinner." Sam leaned into the car, his face mere inches from mine. I could smell faint traces of alcohol on his breath and felt the blood drain from my face.

"I was just getting ready to call him to come and get me."

"No spare?"

"Couldn't fix it myself if I had one."

I tried to crack a smile, hopefully lighten the mood a little but Sam just stuck his hand into his pocket and put his phone up to his ear. He held up one finger, motioning for me to wait a minute, and stepped away. I sat back and exhaled deeply, releasing the jagged breath that burned in my chest and reached for my phone again. Before I could even focus my eyes enough to dial Edwards number from my phone book, Sam stepped back up to the car, and in what seemed like one movement, wrenched the door from its hinges and pulled me from the cab throwing me to the ground.

I fell hard on my chest, the air expelled from my lungs so hard I actually saw stars. In a moment I knew what happened. Somehow Sam had been tipped off as to what transpired between Jacob and me. I only had moments to hope that it wasn't Jacob himself who had done it before Sam grabbed me by my arms and slammed me up against the side of my truck.

"You're a filthy liar Swan," Sam spit at me. I could feel his hot breath on my face and kicked with all my strength but he didn't budge. Where his hands touched my arms it burned, hot like I was standing to close to a radiator.

"Sam, stop. You're hurting me!" I pleaded. I was too afraid to open my eyes. I didn't want to see the mask of terror he would be wearing.

"You're a filthy liar and a sorry excuse for a person Bella. How could you betray your family that way?" Sam dropped me to the ground and I landed hard on my tailbone, the pain shooting straight up my spine. I felt paralyzed with pain for a moment but still attempted to scramble to my feet to run. Sam's foot came at my chest, not in a kick, but enough to pin me to the truck. I felt my chest burning, that air cut off and already making my head foggy.

"You're not going anywhere Bella. Jacob will come. He will change your mind and if he doesn't I will break you so no one has to worry about it. If it's all I can do to stop there from being one more vampire on this earth then so be it.

"Sam please, let me go, "I pleaded when he released me. A sharp pain shot up through my side, one of my ribs felt bruised, and to breathe felt like a thousand pins in my chest.

"Didn't you hear me Bella, you aren't going anywhere. We are going to wait here for Jacob to get back and talk some sense into you, because trust me, you don't want me to be the one to do it. I won't be nearly as nice about it as he will."

Sam turned his back for moment and took in a deep breath with which to call Jacobs name. I took advantage of his back being turned to me and rolled underneath my truck, ignoring the pain, and came out on the other side. I wanted to call for help but could even get enough air in my lungs for a squeak. Instead I used what was left of my strength to run. I ran back to Jacob's house hoping the door would be unlocked.

For the first time in all my years having known them, the Black's door was locked. Sam eyed me over the front of my truck and hopped over it in one leap. I turned as quickly as my already battered body would allow me and ran for the side of the house. I had promised Edward I would come back in once piece, if I could only get far enough away from Sam for Alice to see me…

I felt that I was running as fast as my feet could carry me but when I turned to look over my shoulder, Sam seemed to be walking - Michael Myers style - taking long strides in no particular rush while I ran for my life. In trying to keep a reasonable distance between us, I stopped watching where I was going and tripped over a root or a rock- whatever. I came down hard, slamming onto my hands hard enough that one of the fragile bones of my wrist cracked. I cried out in pain, the shock of it sending me down on my side.

Sam was there in a second and used his foot to roll me over. It looked like all he meant to do was to nudge me but it felt like being hit with a metal bat. My shoulder screamed and protested inside my body, and then pop! Out of its socket…

"Sam, please…" I begged through labored breath. "I'm hurt…just stop. Think of Emily. If you kill me they'll know it was you. You'll go to jail."

Sam sank down on top of me, straddling my sides and grabbed a fist full of my hair.

"Ha! You think I'm trying to kill you Bella. You aren't worth putting Emily through the pain of separation and I've sacrificed enough over trying to get rid of you bastard Cullens."

He pulled my face to look at him, into his eyes, and I could see fire in them. Sam wasn't the Sam that I had seen him even at his worst. He was an entirely different demon, no longer in control of himself and with no knowledge of the force of his strength. He was pulling so hard on my hair I thought he would pop my head off.

"Sam just let me go…I can't…I can't breathe. My lung.. I think it's collapsed."

Sam dragged me up by my hair and what little breath was left in me came out in a scream. My entire body felt on fire and with a last bit of strength I bucked in his hands, a momentary loosening of his grip allowing me to slip from his grasp. I landed hard on this ground again. This time his foot was following close behind, coming down hard on my side, my hip bone shattering. I cried out in pain again, and clawed at the earth trying to get from underneath his foot.

"Would you just stop trying to get away?! Jacob will be here in a second. Jacob will fix you. If he doesn't I will… don't you worry. I'll fix you if he doesn't."

I had seen this delirium before, a similar situation when Tanya had me captive. The only difference was, Alice could see where Tanya was holding me and there was a chance that I would be saved. Alice could not see me with Sam. Unless someone happened to come across us this deep in the woods- I was done for.

"Please Sam, " I begged. The pain was beginning to take over me and I had no means of getting enough air into my lungs to scream or even breathe really. "Please take me back to Jacob's and we can wait for him there. I can't … I can't breathe."

Sam spun back to face me, his foot grinding the shattered bone into my side. I cried out in pain, black dots beginning to form in front of my eyes.

"I said we are waiting for Jacob here. Don't you listen? No you don't listen. That's we are out here. Because you want to become one of those blood sucking demons."

"Sam I don't have a choice," I whined. I hoped for a moment to reason with him like I had with Jacob but something told me I was wasting my breath. Sam looked down at me with so much hatred in his eyes that if the ground could have sucked me into it I would have gladly gone.

"There's always a choice Bella. You're choosing to be a murderer. Emily is pregnant. I can't have another threat to my family! I won't let you hurt my child!" He screamed at me and in an instant my whole world changed to black.

I choked, vomit and blood trickling from my mouth. I smelled the blood before my hand reached up instinctively to hold it in. Sam backed away slowly, his giant round eyes wide with shock and fear.

I couldn't move. I couldn't scream. I couldn't make a sound. In my last bit of consciousness I watched as Sam lay at my feet and howled at the moon.

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**A/N **My oh my... what the hell happened?


End file.
